My first period was an ok experience. There was no fear or shame involved. I was eleven years old. It was the summer before middle school and I was at home with my mother. I was fairly calm. I knew what was happening and I told my mom. My mother was very old fashioned and very catholic. She was really nervous about and seemed somewhat agitated. She handed my some pads and that was that. No explanation on how or how often to use them. A few hours later, I was scolded for not changing my pad often enough. I thought one pad was good for all day. How could I know better, if I was not told? But later, my mom comforted me with hot tea and a heating pad.
Before the event, we never really discussed the mechanics of having a period. Instructions on the proper use and disposal of pad would have been very helpful. I think my mom just assumed I knew what I needed to know. After all, she did consent to my viewing of the menstrual cycle movie that’s played every year in schools.
Two years ago, I consented to the same film for my ten year old. My experience wasn’t traumatizing but it could have been better. I talk to my girls about their bodies. We have read books together and had open discussions about female issues and sex. I think my own daughter's experience was better than mines was. She had the mechanical knowledge I lacked. My daughter was empowered to make basic hygienic decisions about her body.
It is great that you can communicate with your daughter prior to her first menstrual cycle. Having an open dialogue with your girls will surely make them feel more comfortable about their bodies and not embarrassed when issues arise. I don’t have children and if I have a girl I want her to feel that she can come to me about anything. My mom was also uncomfortable with explaining about the mechanics of a period.
ReplyDeleteMy only education was also the movie when I was in 5th grade and was not very explanatory. The video approached the subject very generically and as something "secretive". I feel like you do, that I could have used much more information and communication on the subject. I wish I had been able to ask someone questions. So, because of my experience, I am like you with my daughter. She feels comfortable to ask me questions and I answer without acting secretive or like it is something we don't talk about.
ReplyDeleteAncusa,
ReplyDeleteInteresting to know that you used your own experiences for lacking guidance to do something different for your daughters. Usually people repeat the same mistakes their parents (mums) /guardians made to the future generations (failing to teach your own children or those in your care for whom you are responsible. This happens because people have not had skills of how to open up to their children relegating the responsibility to school or chance.
As for your experience, Iam suprised that you did not consider it bad inspite of the scolding (but I guess because you were later given a cup of hot tea! so you grew to overlook the weight of it).
Did you find your girls more knowledgeable on the subject than you may have thought or were they hearing most things for the first time from you?
Fletcher